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- Exhausted Ain't the Word
"You can't pour from an empty cup—take time to refill." A serene moment of relaxation as a woman embraces self-care in a comfortable bathrobe, her face glistening with a refreshing facial treatment. I recently found myself at the doctor’s office, battling what felt like flu-like symptoms and an overwhelming wave of fatigue. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I went through the motions: appointment, tests, and the inevitable waiting for results. To my surprise, I tested negative for everything. But what I didn’t expect was the diagnosis that followed. It wasn’t a flu or any other illness—it was exhaustion. The kind that comes from pushing yourself too hard and neglecting the one thing you can’t afford to overlook: self-care. For months, I thought I was doing everything right. I started working out, cut back on sugar and processed foods, created content, went to work, and focused on school. From the outside, it all seemed perfect. I was checking all the boxes, convinced that I was finally taking control of my life. But here’s the catch—none of that matters if you’re not taking care of yourself in the process. This experience isn’t unique to me. It’s a reality many Black women face: juggling multiple roles, trying to be everything to everyone, and leaving our own well-being at the bottom of the priority list. We’re often so busy doing, accomplishing, and holding it all together that we forget to pause and take care of ourselves in every aspect—mind, body, and soul. Black women and girls, in particular, are tired. Exhausted, even. We carry so much, but at what cost? The weight of our responsibilities, our dreams, and our communities often leaves little room for rest. And while society may not always acknowledge it, the truth is that the exhaustion we feel is real—and it’s time we give ourselves permission to acknowledge it too. It’s time to change the narrative. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Your health, both physical and mental, should always be a top priority. If you’re constantly running on empty, something will eventually give. So, let’s start taking the time to rest, recharge, and truly listen to our bodies. Because no matter how strong we are, we all need a moment to breathe.
- Breaking Free from the “Professional Student” Cycle
How to Let Go of the Academic Comfort Zone. There’s a specific type of student who seems to never quite leave the confines of academia — a student who stays in school for years, always striving for the next degree, the next certification, the next qualification. While education is undoubtedly important, for some, the line between passion for learning and avoidance of real-world challenges gets blurred, giving rise to the phenomenon of the "professional student." What Is a "Professional Student"? A "professional student" is someone who remains in the educational system for much longer than necessary. It’s not about a genuine desire for knowledge or specialization. Instead, it’s about a lack of confidence or fear of the unknown when it comes to stepping into the professional world. These individuals often find themselves in an endless cycle of degrees, certifications, and programs without a clear endpoint in sight. On the surface, being a professional student can seem harmless. It's a pursuit of knowledge, after all, and who doesn’t want to continue learning? But this path can quickly become a way of avoiding the uncertainty, discomfort, and inevitable challenges that come with entering the workforce. The Perks of Staying in School The lure of staying in school for extended periods is undeniably strong. Students are given structure, purpose, and a clear goal. Whether you’re pursuing a Master’s or a PhD, there are frameworks in place, deadlines, and a network of peers and professors to support your academic journey. Additionally, academia often feels like a safer space compared to the “real world,” which can seem daunting and full of unknowns. For many students, school is a sanctuary — a place where they can focus on mastering a subject rather than confronting the messier aspects of career-building: networking, job interviews, and the fear of failure. It’s easy to convince yourself that just one more degree or certification will unlock that perfect job or career trajectory. The Drawbacks of Being a Professional Student However, the longer one stays in school, the more the risks start to outweigh the benefits. Here’s why: 1. Missed Real-World Experience: The longer you stay in academia, the less exposure you get to practical, real-world situations. There’s a significant difference between the theoretical knowledge gained in school and the hands-on experience gained in the workforce. Many employers value experience just as much, if not more, than academic credentials. 2. Financial Strain: Continually investing in education — through tuition, books, and other related costs — can quickly add up. At some point, the return on investment for additional degrees or certifications diminishes. While education is important, it’s crucial to balance that with the financial realities of your career path. 3. A false Sense of Preparedness: You can never truly feel "ready" for a job, but there comes a point where the pursuit of academic achievements no longer equips you with the skills needed to thrive in a professional environment. The comfort of academia can make it difficult to take risks and apply your knowledge in practical, real-world scenarios. 4. Fear of Transition: This is perhaps the most insidious trap of all. As a professional student, it’s easy to convince yourself that you need just one more degree to be “ready.” But this mindset ultimately stifles growth and keeps you in a loop of comfort and delay. Moving Beyond the "Professional Student" Identity The moment of realization that you’re stuck in this academic loop can feel like a wake-up call. It’s not necessarily that education has become irrelevant, but rather that you’ve outgrown this phase of your life. The challenge is how to move forward and embrace the discomfort of stepping into a new, uncharted territory. Here are a few steps to break free from the professional student cycle: 1. Acknowledge Your Fears: What are you really afraid of? Often, the fear of stepping into the real world stems from a fear of failure, imposter syndrome, or simply not knowing where to start. Understand that failure is a part of growth and that you’ll never have everything figured out. The best way to gain real-world knowledge is to dive in. 2. Focus on Skills, Not Just Credentials: Degrees and certifications are great, but they’re not the only things that matter. Focus on building the practical skills employers value. Soft skills like communication, problem-solving, and leadership are often more critical than any academic qualification. 3. Set Clear Career Goals: Having a roadmap for your career helps you focus on your ultimate goals, which will prevent you from being distracted by the temptation to stay in school forever. What’s your ideal job? What industry do you want to work in? Create a strategy to get there — and remember, your first job or role doesn’t have to be your dream job. It’s a stepping stone. 4. Start Small and Build Confidence: If the thought of entering the workforce feels overwhelming, break it down. Start by networking with people in your field, attending industry events, or even considering part-time internships or freelance opportunities. Take small steps toward the professional world to build your confidence and find your footing. 5. Leverage What You’ve Learned: Academia can give you a wealth of knowledge. The trick is to use that knowledge in ways that solve real-world problems. Whether it’s through research, innovation, or teaching, find ways to channel your education into tangible outcomes. The Freedom of Letting Go One of the most liberating moments in life is the realization that you no longer need to define yourself by your academic achievements. The transition from student to professional is a big one, but it’s also one of the most empowering experiences you can have. By letting go of the "professional student" identity, you open yourself up to new opportunities, challenges, and growth that can’t be found within the walls of a classroom. You are not your degree. You are your experiences, your skills, and your ability to adapt and thrive in the world beyond academia. So, take that first step, embrace the discomfort of the unknown, and start building the career and life you deserve.
- The Life of a Belated Bloomer
As a black woman approaching 25, I've navigated many experiences that have shaped me into who I am today. However, the idea of being a "late bloomer" often lingers in my mind. Society's expectations for success can feel suffocating. It often seems to prioritize traditional markers of adulthood, such as career advancement, marriage, or homeownership. This post explores what it means to embrace being a late bloomer, the unique challenges I have faced, and the beauty of crafting my own path. Redefining Milestones When I think about adulthood, it often feels scripted. The common path says we should finish school, find a job, fall in love, and settle down, all before turning 25. But what if that doesn't resonate? I’ve always found comfort in exploring different passions rather than adhering to a rigid timeline. Embracing my status as a late bloomer means I’m taking the scenic route rather than the express lane. At almost 25, I am still discovering who I am and what I truly want from life. This journey allows me to savor experiences and learn valuable lessons that many rush through. For instance, I’ve tried out various part-time jobs, including working in a local bookstore, which opened my eyes to the community around me and sparked a love for literature. The Pressure to Conform Growing up, I felt constant pressure to fit expectations from family, friends, and society. As a black woman, this pressure often feels even greater regarding achievements and timelines. While the world glorifies early success, it frequently overlooks the richness of the late-blooming experience. Often, I found myself questioning if I was “behind.” I would scroll through social media and see friends buying houses or getting promotions. The pressure could be overwhelming! I learned the hard way that each journey is unique. Statistics show that around 70% of millennials feel anxious about their career paths compared to older generations. This underscores how vital it is to focus on my journey instead of comparing myself to others. Celebrating My Journey Accepting that I’m a late bloomer has been liberating. My varied experiences have given me resilience and a deep appreciation for growth. One beautiful aspect of being unconventional is having the space to redefine what success looks like. This is not to say I haven't faced challenges; far from it. I have endured moments of insecurity and doubt. Every lingering fear has pushed me closer to self-acceptance. Embracing this late-blooming phase allowed me to explore my creativity, try new hobbies like painting and traveling to new places, and meet remarkable individuals who share diverse perspectives on life. A picturesque view of a tranquil park in spring. Finding Community One of my key sources of strength has been the community of fellow late bloomers I have encountered. Sharing the experience of growing at your own pace with others is extraordinary. Surrounding myself with individuals who champion the unconventional has been empowering. I’ve attended poetry readings and engaged in small business incubators, drawing inspiration from women exploring their own timelines. This community reaffirms that there is no "right" way to navigate adulthood, allowing us to celebrate our diverse paths together. The Power of Self-Discovery Being a late bloomer has taught me the beauty of self-discovery. Each year leading up to this milestone reminds me to understand who I am, what excites me, and where I want to go. I’ve found joy in pursuing different forms of education, both formal and informal. Taking extra courses helps me build skills, while reading books fuels my passion. Adulthood should not feel like a sprint; it is a thoughtful exploration of oneself. Embracing Every Stage As I approach 25, I have learned to appreciate every stage of my journey, each with its distinct flavor and lessons. The more I embrace my narrative as a late bloomer, the more I feel freed to celebrate my achievements—no matter how unconventional. I encourage you to reflect on your own journey and consider reframing how you view milestones. What if it’s okay to take your time? As a late bloomer, I’ve come to realize that it is not about where you are in life but how you feel about your experiences. Each moment holds value, and every delay can lead to unexpected beauty. Own Your Journey To my late bloomers out there, remember that your path doesn’t need to mirror anyone else's. You have the freedom to define success on your terms. Your life is filled with rich experiences that contribute to who you are. Every winding turn and unexpected detour adds to your unique story. As I approach the threshold of 25, I am excited to see where life leads me, knowing I am blooming gently but surely. Take pride in your progress, however unconventional, and celebrate the tapestry of experiences that shape you. Embrace Your Own Growth In a world that constantly pushes us toward specific timelines, it is vital to acknowledge the beauty in blooming at your own pace. As I reflect on my journey, I see that being a late bloomer at nearly 25 has led to profound growth and self-discovery. Let’s embrace this late-blooming experience, allowing ourselves the grace to grow outside easily defined timelines and expectations. After all, we each have our unique story to tell, and it is never too late to begin crafting the narrative of your dreams.
- Valentine's Day: Embracing Love and Self-Care Regardless of Relationship Status
Valentine’s Day is often thought of as a day for couples to express their love, but that doesn’t mean it’s only for those in romantic relationships. Whether you're single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between, Valentine's Day is an opportunity to embrace love in all its forms. Here’s how to celebrate February 14th, no matter your relationship status. 1. Embrace Self-Love Valentine’s Day is the perfect reminder to treat yourself with kindness, care, and appreciation. No matter your relationship status, self-love is essential. Here are a few ideas: Spa Day : Treat yourself to a relaxing day of pampering—whether it's a DIY facial, a long bath, or a professional massage. Let yourself unwind. Buy Yourself a Gift : Get yourself something you’ve been eyeing. A new book, a cozy sweater, or something meaningful to you can be a great way to express self-love. Indulge in Your Favorite Food : Whether it’s a chocolate bar, your favorite takeout, or a homemade meal, treat yourself to a delicious feast you truly enjoy. 2. Celebrate with Friends If you have friends, you’re never truly alone on Valentine’s Day. Galentine’s Day, a celebration of friendship, is a growing trend and a perfect excuse to bond with your favorite people. Host a Movie Marathon : Whether you’re into rom-coms, action flicks, or horror movies, gather your friends, make some popcorn, and enjoy a cozy night in. Plan a Potluck Dinner : Cooking together is a fun bonding experience. Share the love with a homemade meal and indulge in each other's favorite dishes. Craft and Create Together : Host a DIY craft night where you can create personalized cards or small gifts for each other, celebrating friendship and creativity. 3. Spread Kindness and Gratitude Valentine's Day is about more than romantic love; it's about love in all its forms. Spread positivity and kindness to people around you: Send Thoughtful Messages : Write heartfelt notes to friends, family, or colleagues. A little positivity goes a long way. Volunteer : Give your time to a cause you care about. Helping others is a beautiful way to celebrate the love that unites us all. Send Anonymous Acts of Kindness : Leave small gifts, flowers, or sweet notes in unexpected places for strangers or people who could use a pick-me-up. 4. Pamper Yourself with a Solo Adventure Valentine's Day is a great time to get to know yourself better or explore something new. You don’t need a partner to have an adventure! Explore a New Hobby : Spend the day learning something new—take a dance class, go to a pottery workshop, or try painting. It’s a fun way to spend the day with yourself. Go for a Solo Trip : Even if it’s just a day trip to a nearby town or a nature walk in the park, treat yourself to the experience of exploring new places. Treat Yourself to a Day of Indulgence : Spend the day doing whatever makes you happy, whether it's indulging in your favorite activities or taking a break from the hustle and bustle of daily life. 5. Celebrate Love in a New Way Valentine's Day doesn’t have to mean romantic love—it can be a celebration of any type of love in your life: Family Time : Spend quality time with your family, whether it’s playing games, having a meal together, or simply catching up. Pet Love : For pet owners, Valentine’s Day is a great excuse to show your furry friend some extra love with treats, toys, or cuddles. Reconnect with an Old Friend : Reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while and rekindle a friendship. Sometimes, rekindling bonds is the best way to spend the day. 6. Go on a Date with Yourself Valentine’s Day can be the perfect opportunity to reconnect with yourself. Set aside some time to enjoy your own company and do something that makes you feel special. Go to Your Favorite Restaurant : Whether you dine in or take out, enjoy your favorite dish or try something new. Dining alone can be empowering and peaceful. Take a Walk in Nature : Sometimes, all you need is some fresh air to clear your mind. A stroll through a park or along the beach can help you appreciate the beauty of the world around you. 7. Practice Gratitude Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to reflect on the people, experiences, and moments that bring you joy. Take a few moments to practice gratitude: Create a Gratitude List : Reflect on the relationships and aspects of your life that make you feel loved and appreciated. Write a Thank You Letter : Take time to write a letter of thanks to someone who has made a positive impact in your life, whether it's a mentor, friend, or family member. 8. Don’t Overlook the Humor Sometimes, the best way to enjoy the day is to laugh. Embrace the fun side of Valentine’s Day, especially if you're not in a romantic relationship: Watch a Comedy Special : Find a funny movie or stand-up comedy special and enjoy some lighthearted entertainment. Create Your Own Valentine’s Day Meme : Have some fun with humor by making a funny meme about Valentine’s Day. No matter where you stand on Valentine’s Day—single, taken, or anything in between—it’s the perfect time to celebrate love, kindness, and the beauty of life. Use this day to show yourself and others love and remember that love is not just about romance; it’s about connection, compassion, and self-care. So go ahead and embrace the day, however, feels right for you! Happy Valentine’s Day! 💖
- How I Conquer the Chaos: Balancing Work, Blogging, Business, 75-Hard Challenge, and Family with Self-Care
We all have the same 24 hours in a day, yet it can feel impossible to balance everything on our plates. Between a full-time job, personal projects, family responsibilities, and personal goals, it can often seem like there's just too much to do. I’m here to share how I’ve learned to manage all the moving pieces in my life, from running my blog and accessories business to staying on track with the 75-Hard challenge, and even helping my mom with her entrepreneurial ventures. It’s not easy, but with the right mindset and a few key strategies, it’s totally achievable. Establishing a Prioritized List Creating a clear hierarchy of responsibilities was my first step. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when tackling everything at once. So, I sat down and listed my commitments in order of priority: Full-Time Job Family Support Business Blogging 75-Hard Challenge This categorization allowed me to allocate my time and energy effectively. With this approach, I can manage daily tasks according to their urgency and importance, enhancing my productivity during the week. Embracing Self-Care Physical and mental well-being are crucial. If I don’t take care of myself, everything else suffers. I learned that small moments for self-care are essential in conquering my responsibilities. Every morning, I dedicate five minutes to meditate, helping me start the day with focus and positivity. Evening walks in nature refresh my mind and allow me to reflect on the day’s achievements and challenges. According to studies, a mere 20 minutes of outdoor activity can significantly improve mood and overall well-being. A peaceful park setting perfect for reflection and self-care Time-Scheduling Techniques With priorities set and self-care established, I focused on effective time management. Keeping a meticulous planner has been transformational. I schedule my week in advance, allocating specific time slots for work, blogging, business tasks, and family activities. Using tools like Google Calendar and productivity apps, I create blocks of time that help minimize distractions. Implementing techniques such as the Pomodoro method, which involves working in focused intervals (25 minutes of work followed by a 5-minute break), has increased my productivity by about 30%. Involving Family in the Process Family has woven a strong support network throughout my journey. By discussing my goals and commitments with them, I've been able to gain incredible support. They are not just my cheerleaders but play a vital role in keeping me accountable. We bond over cooking healthy meals together and spend weekend afternoons working on my blog. This open communication ensures everyone knows what I’m juggling and allows them to offer help in meaningful ways. Staying Motivated Throughout the 75-Hard Challenge The 75-Hard Challenge is no small feat, but it has become my secret weapon for building discipline and resilience. This challenge consists of adhering to five strict tasks daily for 75 days, including two workouts, a daily diet, and reading 10 pages of non-fiction. Incorporating these daily workouts requires careful planning, which has improved my time management skills significantly. Completing each task gives me a sense of accomplishment that motivates me to balance my various responsibilities more effectively. Finding Joy in Blogging Many people see blogging as merely a hobby, but for me, it’s a vital outlet for self-expression. I regularly review my blogging goals and set achievable targets. If I miss a week of writing, I catch up the following week without it feeling burdensome. Sharing experiences about balance and life's challenges has resonated with my audience. My blog traffic grew by about 40% after implementing this approach, showing that authenticity attracts readers and reinforces my commitment to writing. Growing My Business Building my business is a passion, but fitting it into my packed schedule was challenging at first. Implementing the 'batching' technique, where I assign specific days solely for business tasks, has streamlined my focus and reduced chaos. Networking events have also played a pivotal role. Connecting with other entrepreneurs not only inspires me but also leads to collaboration opportunities. I find that having discussions over coffee about challenges and ideas can spark innovative solutions to business hurdles. The Power of Routine Establishing a strong routine has been vital for my success. Morning habits set a proactive tone for the day. My nightly rituals include reading, reflecting on the day’s challenges, and planning for the next day, fostering a smooth transition between work and rest. This disciplined approach builds momentum and eases the mental burden of managing multiple responsibilities, ensuring I stay on track. Celebrating Small Wins It’s crucial to celebrate small victories along the way. Whether completing a tough workout or writing a blog post, recognizing these wins keeps me motivated. I maintain a record of achievements in my planner, permitting reflection on my growth and ongoing inspiration. Every success, no matter how small, reinforces my commitment to achieving balance. These moments might be overlooked in the chaos, yet they are essential building blocks of motivation and satisfaction. Finding Balance in the Journey Mastering the art of balance requires dedication, creativity, and a supportive network. By prioritizing commitments, emphasizing self-care, maintaining flexibility, and celebrating achievements, I have discovered my unique rhythm amidst the chaos. For those in your 20s navigating your own juggling acts, remember that balance doesn’t mean perfection. It’s about making progress, growing, and enjoying the journey. Embrace the chaos, see what works for you, and prioritize self-care. In the end, how we balance our lives shapes our productivity and happiness. So go ahead, conquer the chaos!
- Memoriam
Original Prose by Bobbi T.M.
- Him (Papa)
Original poem from Bobbi T.M.'s debut poetry collection, MindFull Recitals . He was here, there, and nowhere at the same time What my mother calls, “fly by night” Here today Gone tonight Reckless abandon was the literal routine Unfortunately, you get used to the coldness Because closeness and consistency seems unfamiliar I mean the only thing consistent is the inconsistency How funny, yet sad People will declare this issue yours when it’s he who created it How funny, yet sad That he is he here, there, and nowhere at the same time Purchase MindFull Recitals
- Black Girl Wishes
Original Poem by Bobbi T.M. Black girl, I hope your light is never dimmed Your grace never forsaken And your hope never taken Black girl, I hope you be all you can Tall in stance And your ideas given a chance Black girl, I hope you don’t live in fear Have many years And no tears Black girl I hope that your magic is endless Your bounty stupendous And your beauty tremendous May your talents be limitless Black girl Those are my wishes for you
- Second Best
Original poem from Bobbi T.M.'s Twenty 2 . Buy Twenty 2 by Bobbi T.M.
- Be Happy For Me
Original prose by Bobbi T.M. __________________________________ Without the sarcasm Without the pessimism Without the passiveness Without the projection Just be happy for me Because you knew how far I had to go Because you know what I had to endure Because you know what I had to overcome Because I want you to do that one simple thing. Just be happy for me To show you care To show your love To show your humanity To be happy for me
- 23 for 23
An informative and relatable lessons learned by Bobbi T.M. at age 23. 23 was a year of tremendous evolution. In astrologic terms, they say it's a year of solitude, soul- searching, and prayer. Almost like setting the stage to fully battle the spiritual warfare of your life. If you don't know, spiritual warfare is less likely to be physical than it is to be mental, and I definitely gotten the gist of that sentiment this past year. I had to build my mental fortitude. I had to find strength in weakness. A rainbow in the rain. The silver linings in the clouds and the joy in the sorrow. All of it has been beautifully woven together to fashion me into a better woman. In becoming a better woman, I've realized that I've become a better friend to myself; something that I noticed that had been lacking for a while. Realizations bring miracles. I believe that each and every lesson learned this past year of my life has created a slew of wondrous experiences that I am eternally grateful for. I am moving into the 24th year of life with an even- more grateful heart, an accepting disposition of love and all that is good, and opportunity to be a better me in every passing moment. May this word inspire and uplift. As always, Be well!
- Prelude
Original prose from Bobbi T.M.'s debut poetry collection, MindFull Recitals. Anonymity serves me just as well as openness I am an ever- evolving person Clothed in a multifaceted allure I am not a monolith I can be described yet not fully defined I am who I am And whoever I choose to be Shop all of Bobbi T.M.'s poetry collections