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Original prose about the journey of recovery. The resurgence after the storm. The phoenix rising from the ashes. Those sentiments fully embody the era that I’m stepping into. Normalizing setting boundaries; with self first and then others immediately after. Normalize stepping into your joy that has nothing to do with someone else. In this recovery period, I’m learning what fleeting emotions feel like. Happiness is fleeting, so is sadness. On the contrary, both joy and sorrow are constant. I have realized that I am in the midst of both. Fleetings and constants. This applies to people too.

I recently seen a Twitter Post that said "You keep calling it waiting, when in fact, you're in preparation. On this blog, a couple of months ago, I addressed the fact that I felt like I was in a "waiting season." I mentioned that the downtime that I had been given by the Universe almost felt like punishment. This period felt like punishment because I was getting the exact "excitement" that I wanted. I like to think of this as a full circle moment now that I'm back in a "waiting" period of my life since my book release. I am simply in preparation. We always ask for breaks and rest, but when we get just that, we act like it's the most awful thing. In the last few weeks, I have been reminded myself to enjoy my rest because when the pace of life picks up again, I will definitely appreciate the preparation period. It's easy to fall into the top of comparison of others' excitement and fun and your own excitement and fun. Let this serve as a reminder that you don't know what is going on in other people's lives and to enjoy yours. Also, enjoy what you have now in appreciation of what's to come while you wait. In this time of preparation, I have realized the facets of myself that I have been ignoring. I have felt the push for change and elevation. I feel like I am being called to grow deeper in maintaining my spiritual health and grow more in appreciating all of me. Often, we wait to appreciate ourselves until we achieve certain goals, instead of loving the "now." It can be overwhelming, but the best thing that I have given myself is grace. Granted, it's still an evolving process, but extending yourself bits of grace throughout each day makes all the difference in the world. In conclusion, I ask that you (and myself) enjoy rest, enjoy the preparation periods of life, and extend yourself grace everyday. It truly changes you for the better.

Surrendering Song: Surrender x Jhene Aiko ft. Dr Chill Date Started: 7/9/2022 During: Grieving Process Time: 2:07am This year thus far has been a testament to the art of surrendering. Whether by choice or force, everyone will have to surrender to the powers that be. Truly standing on faith. Surrendering is the ultimate act of fact. You don’t know how your problems will be solved, but you have to stop worrying because they will somehow get solved. When there’s a will there’s a way. However, the will may not always be yours. The thought of that definitely frightens the timid like me and these past few months, I’ve undoubtedly faced my fears. 7/14/22 Time: 12:41am Surrender/ Surrendering is a continuing this week. My plans are vastly different from what happens. I’ve learned to breathe better through the challenges, though. Things haven’t been getting the best of my lately. Retreating is vastly different from withdrawing. I’m learning the process of retreating. I think that’s a great part of surrendering. Just knowing you done your absolute best is enough

21 Lessons Learned at age 21. A personal, annual reflective piece done by Bobbi in honor of her birthday. She shares lessons/ personal truths that she has learned in the past year symbolizing each year of life. Hope you enjoy! 1. Go where you are appreciated Dwell in places where you are genuiney appreciated and not just tolerated. 2. It's never too late It's never too late to start something new or different. I say this in reference to me getting my license at 21 and transferring to a new academic institution. 3. Resiliency is second nature I am more resilient than I give myself credit for. I didn;t start driving until this past year and I got both my license and first car. Go me! 4. I am capable I am capable of anything I put my faith and mind to. I am not hopeless in this world or life. 5. I was right (at least, sometimes. Lol!) Most situations where I didn't trust my intuition, my intuition end up being right. C'est la vie. 6. Patience is a virtue My grandmother always provide the anecdote of "Patience is a virue" to me when I get frustrated. In the past year, I have excercised more patience with myself and my goals. 7. Divine Timing is the best timing Human timing is always rushed and I have learned that the plans destined in my life are under heavenly control. Trust the process and trust the waiting seasons in your life. 8. I should have punched more bitches in their face(s) You read right. Violence is the answer sometimes. There is nothing wrong with a spiritual gangster. Purrr! 9. Relatives are relatives and family is family There are those you are simply biologically related to and then, there are those who become family through kinship. 10. Do not seek validation from others What I think of me is the only thing that matters and I think I'm pretty fucking cool. 11. Appreciate the present moment We strive too much for an uncertain future while letting life pass us by. I want to be more present. "The Now" is the only certain thing 12. Be your own advocate I have a voice and I have to use it. I had to learn how to be my own best friend - (Word to Beyoncé. 13. Saying "no" is okay I am more than entitled to reject anything or anyone that does not best suit or serve me a time without guilt or shame. 14. My creations are for me You may not always get the public kudos that you know you deserve, but learn to clap for yourself. The creation of this blog right here is a success story in which I had to clap for myself first 15. I am successful and have succeeded I have overcome so many obstacles and handled so much with grace. That right there is success. 16. My journey is my own "Comparison is the thief of joy." I choose to no longer compare where I am to anyone else's place in life. My journey is mine. 17. Life be life' ing [hard] Life is definitely that girl. She does not come to play. She happens to everybody. You can only simply choose to sit back and enjoy her. 18. It's okay to bow out (before it gets bad) Learn when you have overstayed your welcome. Hell, learn if you were even welcomed in the first place. Quitting is, in fact, a winner's sport. 19. Stop shaming yourself There is no shame in experiencing the perils of life. Shit happens. I am learning to see and make my own silver linings. 20. I do care and that's okay It's okay to care and to care deeply. It does not make you weak. You are a full blown human with emotions, after all. 21. Girl, just take a deep breath and slow down Having the luxury to take a breath is sometimes all the saving grace you need. Who are you rushing for? Honor the space in and around you. You deserve peace within stillness. I hope all the lessons mentioned inspire whoever reads this in any type of way. Thank you for reading and thank you for letting me share my year with you. Looking forward to all 22 has to offer. - Be Well

An original poem by Bobbi. Written in dedication to herself.

Let's continue our talk about Self- Sabotage, shall we? “If you let a man have a good thing, he’ll ruin it” Do yo know that to be true? Do you stand in your own way? Do you let opportunities pass you by? I’ll be the first to raise my hand and say so. I get anxious, let thing naturally go by, get upset, and start the cycle all over again. I’ve faced this dilemma in a few of my most recent relationships (all types). Scared of the what if before I even attempt to do. I laugh now but I know I should’ve done more. Granted, all things happen for a reason. So, I’ll let those feelings breeze away. But now, I know better. We have to get out of our own way when it comes to any and everything. After reading this [random thought about self- sabotage], I encourage you all to end the negative self talk and embrace all the positives. You are capable and worthy. Until next time, luvs. Be well.

An original poem by Bobbi.

Cue Cranes in the Sky by Solange I think that song describes all too well the feeling of running away from your feelings. Removing things and people from your life hoping that it changes something. Newsflash: Sometimes, that shit just doesn't work. Why do we do that? Maybe if I get rid of this? Maybe if I get rid of that? But none of that seems to help. In this past three years, Cranes in the Sky has spoken to my spirit. I didn’t understand in my teenage years. In this short interval of time, I’ve experienced breakups , hardship, and rejection. Granted, those experiences were met with so many high and celebratory moments. However, in those moments of high, I couldn’t help but to focus on the negative and pursue those feelings. Ultimately, self- sabotaging. Don’t get me wrong, this is still one of my hurdles to face daily. It seems like you push away the good and patiently anticipate the bad. Why x3? I had to come to the realization that I played a significant role in missed opportunities and my numerous dysfunctional relationships. Either I pulled away or showed little effort. Me standing in my own way seemed to be my go- to defense mechanism. Subconsciously, I think I savored it as blocking disappointment. My, my, my, was I totally wrong. Self- Sabotage Series... To Be Continued.

Hey y'all. Let's talk about spirituality. I believe everyone to be spiritual. You are literally a spiritual being having a human experience. Granted, every spirit has a different energy; good, bad, or indifferent. As humans, our spiritual journeys are inherently different. Some conform to a set religion and/ or doctrine. My maternal family follows the Baptist sector of Christianity. While others, like me, are more open to the variety of ideologies and doctrines that this human experience has to offer us. I believe every religion/ doctrine has a universal truth. My perspective of spirituality would fall under the category of Pantheism. Essentially, the universe is God and God is the universe. God and the thought of a creator is too great to be compressed into human qualities. Most black people, as myself, typically follow the religions and practices of our families. Never straying too far from our "set" religion. That sometimes causes us to be so rigid in our ways. We tend to reject most things that aren't familiar. I've decided to break the mold of that conformity. I love researching different religions and practices. I believe that you can hold your foundational values and be open to other things. One thing that I've noticed in my studying is that there is essentially one universal truth; honor yourself, honor others as they are merely a reflection of you, and take care of the Earth. God/ the Universe/ The Creator(s) are not separate from you. God/ The Universe is within and around you. Spirituality is a complex and such a broad topic to view and understand. That is why I believe in the exploration of it. So, my advice is to highlight what is best for your own personal spiritual hygiene. Be well. -Bobbi Share in the comments your perspective and/ or thoughts!

Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor. Please consult/ seek professional advice before starting and making any dietary changes. Thank you. Throughout my life, I have struggled with my weight. Weight is especially a hot topic amongst black families, which I have the immense pleasure of being a part. For the first 17 years of my life, I was the chubby girl, the "big" friend, and the "fluffy" cousin. Seemingly endearing names for such a burden. I constantly dreamed of being smaller. I didn't lack the confidence to attain it, but I did lack motivation. I got so comfortable with being the fat one, that even now I struggle with accepting the fact that I did actually lose weight and kept it off. I am no stranger to fad diets and harsh workouts. I've tried everything in the book. A very tedious and tired struggle; with little to no avail. At my heaviest, I weighed 330 lbs. (that was that was last weigh- in before surgery) Until, one day when I was introduced to the idea of bariatric surgery. Specifically, the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG)/ Gastric Sleeve. The general basis of the surgery to remove 75%- 85% of your stomach and leave what would look like a sleeve. The idea of this surgery, which would be my first, was absolutely scary. The thought of the surgery was entertained for a year before I proceeded. August 21, 2017 was the day that changed my life. I had no problems with surgery nor recovery. The lifestyle change was immediate. I was required to be on a liquid diet and then transition to a soft diet for 1-2 months. I was so nervous about everything that I went another month without eating solids. After the first three months, I made the conscious effort of completely eliminating beef and pork as proteins in my diet, which I still continue to this day. Overall, the journey for me has been a rollercoaster. Your emotions are fluctuate along with your perception of self. Even though, my weight has also fluctuated, I have maintained a total loss of 120 lbs. since August 2017 until now. I encourage everyone to seek wellness and wholeness before making any bodily changes. The road paved for and by me has not been an easy, even in the present day. Every day is an opportunity to grow or fold in my personal weight loss journey. Most days, I choose growth and I win. -Bobbi Stay tuned for more posts relating to my journey !