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An original poem by Bobbi.

Cue Cranes in the Sky by Solange I think that song describes all too well the feeling of running away from your feelings. Removing things and people from your life hoping that it changes something. Newsflash: Sometimes, that shit just doesn't work. Why do we do that? Maybe if I get rid of this? Maybe if I get rid of that? But none of that seems to help. In this past three years, Cranes in the Sky has spoken to my spirit. I didn’t understand in my teenage years. In this short interval of time, I’ve experienced breakups , hardship, and rejection. Granted, those experiences were met with so many high and celebratory moments. However, in those moments of high, I couldn’t help but to focus on the negative and pursue those feelings. Ultimately, self- sabotaging. Don’t get me wrong, this is still one of my hurdles to face daily. It seems like you push away the good and patiently anticipate the bad. Why x3? I had to come to the realization that I played a significant role in missed opportunities and my numerous dysfunctional relationships. Either I pulled away or showed little effort. Me standing in my own way seemed to be my go- to defense mechanism. Subconsciously, I think I savored it as blocking disappointment. My, my, my, was I totally wrong. Self- Sabotage Series... To Be Continued.

Hey y'all. Let's talk about spirituality. I believe everyone to be spiritual. You are literally a spiritual being having a human experience. Granted, every spirit has a different energy; good, bad, or indifferent. As humans, our spiritual journeys are inherently different. Some conform to a set religion and/ or doctrine. My maternal family follows the Baptist sector of Christianity. While others, like me, are more open to the variety of ideologies and doctrines that this human experience has to offer us. I believe every religion/ doctrine has a universal truth. My perspective of spirituality would fall under the category of Pantheism. Essentially, the universe is God and God is the universe. God and the thought of a creator is too great to be compressed into human qualities. Most black people, as myself, typically follow the religions and practices of our families. Never straying too far from our "set" religion. That sometimes causes us to be so rigid in our ways. We tend to reject most things that aren't familiar. I've decided to break the mold of that conformity. I love researching different religions and practices. I believe that you can hold your foundational values and be open to other things. One thing that I've noticed in my studying is that there is essentially one universal truth; honor yourself, honor others as they are merely a reflection of you, and take care of the Earth. God/ the Universe/ The Creator(s) are not separate from you. God/ The Universe is within and around you. Spirituality is a complex and such a broad topic to view and understand. That is why I believe in the exploration of it. So, my advice is to highlight what is best for your own personal spiritual hygiene. Be well. -Bobbi Share in the comments your perspective and/ or thoughts!

Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor. Please consult/ seek professional advice before starting and making any dietary changes. Thank you. Throughout my life, I have struggled with my weight. Weight is especially a hot topic amongst black families, which I have the immense pleasure of being a part. For the first 17 years of my life, I was the chubby girl, the "big" friend, and the "fluffy" cousin. Seemingly endearing names for such a burden. I constantly dreamed of being smaller. I didn't lack the confidence to attain it, but I did lack motivation. I got so comfortable with being the fat one, that even now I struggle with accepting the fact that I did actually lose weight and kept it off. I am no stranger to fad diets and harsh workouts. I've tried everything in the book. A very tedious and tired struggle; with little to no avail. At my heaviest, I weighed 330 lbs. (that was that was last weigh- in before surgery) Until, one day when I was introduced to the idea of bariatric surgery. Specifically, the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG)/ Gastric Sleeve. The general basis of the surgery to remove 75%- 85% of your stomach and leave what would look like a sleeve. The idea of this surgery, which would be my first, was absolutely scary. The thought of the surgery was entertained for a year before I proceeded. August 21, 2017 was the day that changed my life. I had no problems with surgery nor recovery. The lifestyle change was immediate. I was required to be on a liquid diet and then transition to a soft diet for 1-2 months. I was so nervous about everything that I went another month without eating solids. After the first three months, I made the conscious effort of completely eliminating beef and pork as proteins in my diet, which I still continue to this day. Overall, the journey for me has been a rollercoaster. Your emotions are fluctuate along with your perception of self. Even though, my weight has also fluctuated, I have maintained a total loss of 120 lbs. since August 2017 until now. I encourage everyone to seek wellness and wholeness before making any bodily changes. The road paved for and by me has not been an easy, even in the present day. Every day is an opportunity to grow or fold in my personal weight loss journey. Most days, I choose growth and I win. -Bobbi Stay tuned for more posts relating to my journey !